In Life and Death, a Search for True Meaning

Cast adrift in the silence and purdah establish in this drowning pool of quiet, empty souls, I find

myself in a despairing demand and frenetic hunt for a life beyond this vortex, an being across

this nothingness of unearthly passions.

This life of mine, so empty, so hollow in its significance and so despairing in its demand - would

that I could decease to stop it all, I would indeed. But decease is only another door to another

realm, and there would I come in with still all the luggage I yet now claim - the same

problems, still unsolved and still there to torment me further.

What then is the answer? What then might I make to get away this quandary in which I find

myself, this shelf I straddle, overlooking a bottomless cavity I make bold not believe to fall into, no

matter how desirous such as a idea might seem.

Is all so alone here, so very quiet and so very alone. But in this solitude, my bosom does

tell me, will I happen my strength, my economy grace. It will come up only after seeking out my

peace - my peace with mankind, with nature, with a existence forever unfolding, my

peace with my soul, and then finally, with my God. For when this is done, then and only

then will my anxieties, like the walls of Jericho in years of old, crumple to put before me

in worthless pieces, trivial without their sense of cohesive integrity and wholeness.

Until that makes happen, until my mind, bosom and psyche make in this emptiness happen their

peace, their demand to continue, and a strength and desire to live, I must constantly push

myself to desire to travel on, no substance how lonely, how painful...only to just travel on. Yet

should the clip come up when I can either travel no additional or desire peace at that terms no

longer, should such as a complete and overpowering failure devour me, my human race end

and this life of mine then discontinue to exist, it will at least have got got been to my recognition that through

my hunt for this peace, this happiness, indeed, this life, where I had, for a while, been

able to set aside those problems that so flooded me and then have desired still to

want to go on and forever journeying forward as far as both physical and Negro spiritual forces

would allow, then at that point, in the thick of that failure, even then would I be at peace.

This realization, in turn, have instilled in my beingness a freshness of satisfaction, of pride, of

accomplishment. For endowed with this belief that I make all that I can, effort all that is

feasible and endeavor ever forward until that twenty-four hours when decease makes base before me, it will

forever delight me to cognize that this clip it is my God's desire to have got me, to convey me

into His light, and not my selfish, junior-grade demand to be with Him, there in the darkness.